The Dark Side of Commitment

Michael Fiore 12-17

Today, we’re going to talk about “The Dark Side Of Commitment” and why getting what you want isn’t always what you want…

Pretty much every day I get a ton of emails from women asking a variation of the question:

“Mike, how do I get a guy to COMMIT to me?

Heck, it’s such a big problem I even ended up writing a Amazon-Best-Selling ebook about it called “Make Him Beg To Be Your Boyfriend”…

(Which literally has hundreds of 5 star reviews and a few 1 star reviews from women who can’t seem to handle the truth.)

But what a lot of women don’t seem to realize is that commitment has a DARK side . . .

That flipping that switch in a man’s mind from “Single” to “taken” and committed can actually backfire.

What kind of Dark Side?

In my experience there are two major “road blocks” that can cause getting a guy committed to blow up in your face: 

1. The Death of Possibility 

I’ve written about this before but in a nut shell, getting truly committed to a woman means giving up the male dream of sleeping with hundreds and hundreds of women.

2. The Expectation Doubler

What’s the Expectation Doubler?

Let me answer your question with a question.

Did you know that a huge percentage of newly-engaged women get horribly, viciously depressed?

Why?

Well, it’s a totally unconscious thing, but for a lot of women an hour or 3 after the happiness of getting that ring on their finger the realization and the transformation begin.

The realization that the guy they were “dating” for so long is actually going to be her HUSBAND.

And the transformation of her expectations on who this guy was, what “Little annoying habits” she can put up with and what needs to CHANGE about him before he fits into the “Perfect Man” suit in her head.

I’ve seen it again and again (and have even experienced it myself.)

As soon as you cross that bridge from “Dating” to “Boyfriend And Girlfriend” or from “Boyfriend and Girlfriend” to “Engaged Couple” or from “Engaged Couple” to “Married Couple” all those “Cute little habits” he has or you have become BIG, monstrous problems.

I even had one friend of mine cry on my shoulder once after getting engaged and sob “I love him, but I can’t believe I’m marrying a guy who listens to heavy metal.”

Couples who can let go of The Expectation Doubler survive.

Couples who can’t build up resentment and bitterness and anger and disappointment and either break up or stay together and end up miserable, nobody getting what they want.

So How Do You Keep From Falling Into This Trap And Actually Have a Happy Commitment?

1. Like I say in “Make Him Beg To Be Your Boyfriend,” when you get a guy to commit make sure he feels like it’s HIS choice. No man who’s forced into a commitment is ever truly committed in his heart.

2. Ask yourself (seriously ask yourself) if you’re looking for a commitment from THIS PARTICULAR MAN or if you’ve just fallen in love with the idea of commitment in general.

3. Before you get “Committed” in any way, take a good, long look at the man in question. List out the “Little things that bug you” and ask yourself when they’re going to go from “cute” to maddening. (Because they are.)


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