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The Best Way to Ask a Woman Out

David DeAngelo 12-17

The Best Way to Ask a Woman OutI have a question for you…

When you get a woman’s number and you’re picking up the phone to call and “ask her out”, does it bother you?

Do you get freaked out?

Do you start thinking about exactly what you’re going to say, how you’re going to say it, how to deal with her rejecting you… etc.?

Do you ever get NERVOUS when you’re dialing the phone?

You know that feeling when you just start getting anxious for no logical reason, and you just CAN’T control it?

Have you ever had to actually HANG UP because you were so damn freaked out… and you just couldn’t follow through with it?

OK, now another set of interesting questions…

Have you ever called a woman, and started talking to her, only to realize that she was in a COMPLETELY different mood from the last time?

Have you ever had a woman “turn cold” on you all of a sudden?

It’s almost like you’re talking to a different person from the girl you met just a day or two before… and it makes no sense to you… right?

And finally…

Have you ever worked up the nerve to call, gotten her on the phone, had a great conversation, but when it came time to ask her out, you froze up because you didn’t know what to say?

Or even worse, have you ever gotten to the end of the conversation and asked her out, only to have her answer with:

“Well, maybe… call me Friday afternoon… OK?”

or…

“Actually, I’m going to be busy all this week, but thanks for asking… (silence)”…?

Have you ever had one of those conversations where you could just TELL that something wasn’t right… and that she wasn’t going to be taking you up on your date offer, or calling you back at all anytime soon?

So why all the problems?

What is it about these particular few minutes that constantly ends in problems for guys?

I personally think that this issue comes down to a few key DEEPER ISSUES.

And I think that if you don’t have these other issues “handled”, you’re going to keep running into problems… and NEVER even know WHY…

…which sucks.

I mean, it’s bad enough to keep having a particular problem and not figure out how to solve it… but the idea that the solution is in doing something you would never think of is a little bit maddening.

In other words, I think that this is all about understanding the problem, and actually PREVENTING it from coming up… rather than trying to “solve it” in the moment.

Let me put it this way…

If you’re dialing the phone, and you’re starting to feel nervous, then it’s already too late to solve the problem.

No quick fix will help you.

Or if you’re on the phone with her and you have just asked her out on a date, and she says “Um, let me call you back in a few days and tell you”… and you start to get that sinking feeling because you know she’s blowing you off… IT’S TOO LATE.

There’s no “magic pill” at this point.

The answer is PREVENTION.

THE MAGIC FORMULA

So, let’s take a few minutes and talk about the issues and what CAUSES them.

Here are some of the “root causes”, and how I see them…

1) Having no other options.

If you’re sitting at the phone with ONE phone number in your hand, and you haven’t been out on a date in a long time, and you are feeling DESPERATE, you’re probably going to get VERY nervous.

When you have no other options, the single one in front of you becomes VERY valuable.

Translation: You want it TOO badly.

This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional system, because at some level you realize that if you screw this up, it’s all over. And you know that it’s all going to happen in just a few SECONDS.

The pressure is too much!

2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.

Now, if you have a girl that you’ve been dating for six months, and you’ve decided that she’s one in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of importance on your relationship with her.

But, if you don’t know a girl very well, or you haven’t even dated her at all, then you are only setting yourself up for major disappointment by putting too much importance on ANY girl.

3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.

This is a HUGE issue.


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